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the archives for the ‘Science’ section

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The most evil man in the universe

Moans, Science

He’s been compared to the Taliban a sexist, homophobic gang of cunts who brutalised a nation and killed thousands, and then in the same article is compared to the people who wiped out the Native Americans & started the Mexican American war, then he’s compared to Carlos the Jackal.

So who is this man, this brute, this degenerate scumbag? Surely he should be killed, or at least pushed over and kicked a bit.

Oh wait, that’s probably a bad idea ’cause it’s Stephen Hawking and all he said was that you don’t need a theistic god to explain the existence of the universe. The dastard.

Homeopathic Cigarettes

Science

Hello venture capitalist (or ‘dragon’ as they tend to be called nowadays) here’s a business idea for you, as the title suggests, homeopathic cigarettes, in case you don’t know what homeopathy is:

Homeopathy is a form of alternative medicine, first proposed by German physician Samuel Hahnemann in 1796, in which practitioners use highly diluted preparations. [from Wikipedia]

So here’s my plan, highly diluted cigarettes will require a small initial outlay, you’ll need to purchase one cigarette and smoke it, breathing it into the atmosphere where it will be diluted. Then get some bottles, open them, shake them1, close them and you’ve got your first batch.

Now the branding, I think “Air” would be a good name, think of the following phrases
“Can I have a pack of 10 Airs™?”
“Do you mind if I smoke this Air™ in here?”

Sounds good, so onto the marketing, this should be easy. Young people love smoking but aren’t allowed to, I can’t see the government stopping them enjoying a relaxing Air™ on the playground so you’ll own the 12-18 year old market. The second big market segment is people who want to smoke at work, winter’s coming and going outside to smoke in the snow or wind sucks. And Airs™ won’t taste of anything so no problems with them switching from their regular cigarette brand.

And finally customer retention and brand loyalty are important, here’s where I think Air™ has this covered, the gist behind homeopathy2 is this – “after each dilution under the assumption that this increases the effect.” so that cigarette you smoked to start the process was really addictive and now it’s been diluted into the atmosphere so is as addictive as anything could possibly be. I can envision a future where people are enjoying Air™ tens, hundreds or even thousands of times a day, I can even see 100% of the population enjoying Air™

So if you’re interested in my idea I’m willing to sell 0.5% of my company for $1 trillion, get in touch.

1 shaking stuff is really important in homeopathy, because it’s made up horseshit I guess
2 it’s a fundamental misunderstanding of physics, chemistry and biology, because it’s made up horseshit I guess

Has the internet taken the fun out of door-to-door fundamentalism?

Random, Science

It’s just with the internet you get to see new and completely ridiculous defences of creationism, the people who show up at your door are still going on about the odds of abiogenesis and using God-of-the-gaps arguments.

And generally English fundies aren’t as openly mental as their US counterparts so trying to trick them into saying something offensive doesn’t work.

So, now that the snow’s melted…

Moans, Science

…will the people who said global warming isn’t happening now admit that it’s warmer than a week ago therefore we’re all going to die (at the current rate the temperature will have increased to over 200°C by the end of the year)?

Neo Old Atheist

Moans, Science

Apparently “‘New’ Atheists” are middle class, university educated snobs. Which was a bit of a blow for me, I guess I could try and listen to uneducated people who believe in the religion their parents happened to force on them. But instead I’ve decided to label myself a Neo Old Atheist1

On the subject of atheism Jonathan Meades: Off Kilter, especially episode 2 is half-mad, half-insane brilliance. And it’s hard for me to praise a former foodie, architecture critic.

1 The schism between the old and new atheists is that old atheists don’t believe in a theistic god, and the new atheists don’t believe in a theistic god.

Very nerdy

Science

A bunch of lectures by Richard Feynman. Nice of Billy to put them online, shame it’s streaming, using silverlight. Be much nicer to download some .mp4s