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the archives for the ‘Moans’ section




Read this article on whatever website matches your political bias (Telegraph, Guardian or Channel 4), it won’t make a difference. The fact is the government is trying to “charge £100 as an upfront fee to parents who wish to use the Child Support Agency in future” and “The CSA would levy 7-12 per cent of any monies collected before the money is passed on to the parent with care of the child/children”.

Luckily, and bafflingly, the millionaires in the House of Lords seem to understand the common man better than the millionaires in the House of commons so have voted it down, but still, to make it clear

MPs are trying to steal money from children

for fuck sake. With them trying to steal the NHS, steal our money and give it to bankers, dodging taxes, making the education system worse, ensuring young people can’t afford houses and will work their entire lives paying for other peoples pensions never reaching the ever increasing retirement age the rich nowadays really don’t seem to be very attached to their heads.

What. The. Fuck.


Jason West is a 38-year-old father of three from Ash, near Aldershot. All his children are students at Ash Manor school, a specialist technology college. On 28 April this year, his youngest son came home from school, and told him about a CCTV camera installed above urinals in one of the school’s toilets. “When he told me, I couldn’t believe it,” he says. It turned out there were cameras in both boys’ and girls’ toilets

From this article. apparently this is to stop smoking. And it might stop the kids smoking in the toilet, but they’ll just do it somewhere else. So instead of your kids just smoking, they’ll smoke and have the headmaster look at their dicks.

A sensible article about the riots


It turns out violence existed before cartoons, rap music, single parents, atheism, this month.

It seems a remarkable coincidence that all the bad parents happen to live in the poorest areas of the country. Also weird that young men with darker complexions seem to get stopped & searched in those areas more often as well (but that definitely has nothing to do with not respecting the police, bad parenting again). Also strange that you get 2 years for thinking about stealing some fags but stealing £450,000 from the taxpayer gets you a pretty cushy job (even if you’re not qualified).

And look what we’re stuck with


The wedding of Jordan’s Prince Ali in 2004 took place with a singular lack of fanfare, with an understated private ceremony and, in a move that some cash-strapped Britons might eye with envy, Prince Ali distributed the money that would have been spent on a big reception to hundreds of the country’s poorest families.

From this article on the worldwide coverage of my bonus day off watching the cricket (apparently something’s happening in London as well). Glad to know the media is insane everywhere not just here.

Liberté, égalité, fraternité


Following on from my previous business idea here’s a really good one. A tricolour burqa with


written across the front.

This would be a huge seller across the channel, and no French policeman could arrest you dressed in it.

For the tight fisted cynics

Internet, Moans

My Amazon shopping history is probably the least feminine1 around, accurately suggesting a single male household. Still that didn’t stop this bit of cynicism:

I did like that the best seller is £11.54, some lucky ladies are going to feel very loved on valentines day.

1 at least how feminine is generally considered, I get that some women do like SF, Cricket and can understand the offside rule

A new plan for domestic finances


My social and intellectual betters are convinced the only way forward for the country is to cut the deficit so I’ve decided to do the same for my home finances.

As we have debts of ~£1 trillion with a GDP of ~£1.5 trillion we obviously need cuts, thats 66% of our GDP in debt! So obviously we need to:

  • Stop building things at government expense, putting thousands out of work
  • Get rid of government non-jobs staffed by eco-feminazi-PC-health&safety-gone-mad bureaucrats, putting thousands out of work
  • Raise VAT and fuel duty making everything more expensive , putting thousands out of work

This lack of employment and increase in costs will increase the tax income and cut the debt. (Dave did economics at uni so this must make sense1).

My plan

My mortgage debt is ~300% of my GIP (Gross Individual Product) which compared to the economy is really dangerous. So I plan to eliminate the following from my budget and pay off the debt in 3 years.

  • Savings – having cash for emergencies is overrated
  • Phone & Broadband – after hitting ‘Send to Blog’ anyway
  • Cricket – how can I be entertained with that debt on my shoulders
  • Council tax – they’re sacking everyone so what am I paying for?
  • Home insurance – I don’t own it yet so why insure it?
  • Food – a luxury I can’t afford
  • Gas, water & electric – another luxury
  • Everything else

You might be thinking that’s stupid, without investing in the things like food, clothes, warmth and water that keep you alive you’ll die stop getting paid.

You probably also think that spending money on things, like infrastructure, schools and the NHS, cutting regressive taxes, increasing employment and making the rich pay their way when they’ve reaped all the benefits of society might be a good idea.

And you’d be right, unlike the Tory cunts running the country.

1 Fun fact, Gideon, who’s supposed to be running the economy, didn’t. He did modern history.