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the archives for the ‘Moans’ section


If the Advertising Standards Authority are supposed to set the standards for advertising why are the adverts allowed to exist


when they banned this advert for “because it mocks the virgin birth of Jesus”? (Although the advert is trying to do that immaculate conception is something different and even stupider)

Ice Cream

The thing is they didn’t ban the Marie Stopes ad )which was the right choice) but it’s just as offensive to Catholics. And didn’t ban the Paddy Power blind football advert which is offensive to anyone who isn’t a cunt.

The ASA say:

Marketing communications must not contain anything that is likely to cause serious or widespread offence. Particular care must be taken to avoid causing offence on the grounds of race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, disability or age. Compliance will be judged on the context, medium, audience, product and prevailing standards.

One of those things is not like the others, you get to choose it and your choice can mean other people’s choices offend you. Will the ASA be banning advert for Arsenal games because they offend Spurs fans?

On the plus side there’s this tweet:

Like everything else it was the politician’s fault


About 3:52 into this hilarious YouTube video of Chris Bryant vs Kay Burley [via] she says:

“Presumably you changed your pin so that wouldn’t have happened”

I guess that if someone breaks into your house and you haven’t bricked up the doors and windows it’s your fault right?

The most evil man in the universe

Moans, Science

He’s been compared to the Taliban a sexist, homophobic gang of cunts who brutalised a nation and killed thousands, and then in the same article is compared to the people who wiped out the Native Americans & started the Mexican American war, then he’s compared to Carlos the Jackal.

So who is this man, this brute, this degenerate scumbag? Surely he should be killed, or at least pushed over and kicked a bit.

Oh wait, that’s probably a bad idea ’cause it’s Stephen Hawking and all he said was that you don’t need a theistic god to explain the existence of the universe. The dastard.

The funniest thing you’ll read all week (or possibly month)


“Dear Lib Dem voter
Your leadership has sold out and betrayed your traditions. I ask you to look again at Labour” – Ed Milliband

Is New Labour so fucking old they can’t even remember Clause 4? I hope the Communists stand in North West Hampshire next time, otherwise I might not ever get a chance to vote for a left-wing party.

(on the off chance anyone from Labour is looking at my blog to see if I’m an Entryist Trot, what a difference 6 years and a left wing leader make)

Beat Up Waiter

Moans, Random

The worst thing about Schleck’s chain problem yesterday isn’t that Contador sped past and took the yellow jersey, it’s that it’s being referred to as Chaingate.

I hope there’s some incident in the future involving famous people and a gate causing the majority of journalists to implode.

* The title is the obligatory Simpsons reference

Phippen’s Law

Internet, Moans

This is my chance to be a less famous Godwin.

Phippen’s Law: As an online discussion, that is directly or indirectly about Ricky Gervais, grows longer, the probability of someone saying “Am I the only person who doesn’t find Ricky Gervais funny?” approaches 1.


Moans, Short

I was called ‘Sir’ in The Gateway yesterday. Twice. Bugger.

He’s a miracle, Saviour of the universe, King of the impossible – Cash Gordon

Internet, Moans, Web Design

Any number of things are wrong with the tory’s comically bad attempts to smear Gordon Brown, here’s a list:

The internet is great

A guide to Search Engine Optimisation for clients of web design companies

Internet, Moans, Web Design

A lot of clients who hire some designers to design & build their website will pay a third party for SEO, often too much relative to what their paying for the design and development. Here are the steps you need to follow for budgeting.

  1. Take the number of sales you make to Search Engine’s spiders (which is 0)
  2. Prefix it with your local currency’s symbol (for UK visitors £0)
  3. Spend that much on SEO
  4. Take the money you were going to spend on SEO and hire a copywriter.

Because good content is important, maybe if it was called Potential Customer Experience Optimisation (PCEO™) clients would pay silly money for it.

So, now that the snow’s melted…

Moans, Science

…will the people who said global warming isn’t happening now admit that it’s warmer than a week ago therefore we’re all going to die (at the current rate the temperature will have increased to over 200°C by the end of the year)?