My social and intellectual betters are convinced the only way forward for the country is to cut the deficit so I’ve decided to do the same for my home finances.
As we have debts of ~£1 trillion with a GDP of ~£1.5 trillion we obviously need cuts, thats 66% of our GDP in debt! So obviously we need to:
- Stop building things at government expense, putting thousands out of work
- Get rid of government non-jobs staffed by eco-feminazi-PC-health&safety-gone-mad bureaucrats, putting thousands out of work
- Raise VAT and fuel duty making everything more expensive , putting thousands out of work
This lack of employment and increase in costs will increase the tax income and cut the debt. (Dave did economics at uni so this must make sense1).
My mortgage debt is ~300% of my GIP (Gross Individual Product) which compared to the economy is really dangerous. So I plan to eliminate the following from my budget and pay off the debt in 3 years.
- Savings – having cash for emergencies is overrated
- Phone & Broadband – after hitting ‘Send to Blog’ anyway
- Cricket – how can I be entertained with that debt on my shoulders
- Council tax – they’re sacking everyone so what am I paying for?
- Home insurance – I don’t own it yet so why insure it?
- Food – a luxury I can’t afford
- Gas, water & electric – another luxury
- Everything else
You might be thinking that’s stupid, without investing in the things like food, clothes, warmth and water that keep you alive you’ll die stop getting paid.
You probably also think that spending money on things, like infrastructure, schools and the NHS, cutting regressive taxes, increasing employment and making the rich pay their way when they’ve reaped all the benefits of society might be a good idea.
And you’d be right, unlike the Tory cunts running the country.
1 Fun fact, Gideon, who’s supposed to be running the economy, didn’t. He did modern history.